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My wife and I have been together almost 40 years. Age, changing bodies and surviving prostate cancer have forced us to change and reconsider old sexual practices.

Hav used to enjoy long sessions that included oral, touching and intercourse in various positions, but now discomfort and irritation cuts intercourse short for her. And I often have trouble feeling the sensations needed to maintain a level of arousal that would take me to orgasm.

My orgasms come usually from masturbation.

For a couple of years after my prostate surgery, I was essentially impotent. How can we explore new sexual pathways and adventures with so many physical and scheduling challenges? I wish we had more time, opportunity, and resources to let loose and play.

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What advice would you offer us and other couples in this situation? You and your wife are wise to recognize kf enhancing your sex life will benefit your relationship. Prioritizing sex will make you feel more intimate, decrease stress and put joy into lives filled with the challenges of aging and medical issues.

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I encourage you to find ways to make time for sex at least once a week, preferably more often. Make a regular date for sex during Do you have an erotic sense of adventure time of day that you feel most frisky. How about setting the alarm earlier on workdays or making sure you carve out some sexy time every weekend morning or afternoon? Remember how exciting it was, in your youth, to plan and fantasize about an upcoming sexual encounter? You can do that today.

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Instead of waiting for the right time to magically happen, put your sex dates on the calendar and let your imagination run for days in advance. As you get ready for your day, make eye contact, smile, kiss when you pass each other.

Read a few pages of erotica on your own when you have some minutes. You can also give your weekly sex date a boost by exercising before sex.

If you have an exercise routine that you ertoic do together, such as a minute brisk walk or bike ride around the neighborhood, even better. Exercise increases blood flow all through the body, including to the genitals.

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The increased blood flow will help you get aroused faster once you turn your attention to sex, and orgasms will happen more easily. Your most powerful sex organ is your brain.

If you worry that she would find your fantasies shocking or distasteful, keep them to yourself. Since you both realize that masturbation gets you to orgasm, instead of branding this as inadequate sex, enjoy it together. I always recommend sex toys because they make arousal and orgasm so much easier, so bring your favorite sex toys into the scene. Since you require extra stimulation, a penis vibrator such as the Pulse will give you the hvae you need.

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Keep the momentum going by getting each other almost to orgasm before you get to intercourse. Enjoy penetrative sex for a while, then go back to mutual or solo masturbation — whatever works best at the moment. If your wife will play along, try creating adventure by telling each other a fantasy, then verbally roleplaying one of those fantasies.

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All information is confidential. Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues.

Nothing is out of bounds! How to Maintain — or Regain! Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty.

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